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The twelve Turkmen months – A New Year's fairytale

By Farid Tukhbatullin

On the eve of the night, which was to be followed by a new year, the President was pacing his spacious office from one corner to the other.

"What can I wish for this time before the clocks chime midnight?" the President wondered. "All I wished for last time came true. I became the President elected by the nation, so now it is up to me to fulfil my dreams. Still, I would like to have something special.

However, the President could not think of anything else he wanted to have. The door of the office flew open and a mixed crowd of people stormed into the room. "Who are you? And who allowed you to enter my office?" demanded the president shocked.

One of the visitors stepped forward and said: "I am Turkmenbashi!"

A body fell down onto the floor. The President had fainted but was brought round quickly and chattered: "Forgive me, great Turkmenbashi! I accidentally became president in your absence. But this was done unintentionally. It is your security guard who tempted me, so I put him in prison and decided to sit here to prevent anyone from taking your place.

"No, you got me wrong. I am the month Turkmenbashi, i.e. former January. And these brothers here are the other months", said Turkmenbashi month pointing to the remainder of the crowd. "Some are brothers, and others are..." said former brother April but broke off as Gurbansoltanedje sister burst into tears like spring rain.

"I absolutely agree with you!" cried former brother September who, by the previous president's wish, was turned into sister Rukhnama.

"Oh, boy! It seems that New Year's Eve is beginning its miracles", thought the President who had calmed down a bit but was still slow at responding. "And why on earth have you come to me?" asked the President trying to get a grip of the situation.

"What do you mean why? To come with our wishes to you since you are the master here now", answered Turkmenbashi-January.

"Well, generally speaking, said the President somehow confused, "well all right. What do you want? The Akhal-Teke horses for your sleigh? Or have you come with an araba-cart? I can also give you cows or sheep. No oil and gas - the audit has not yet been carried out; it may turn out that there is not even enough for myself."

"No, we do not need your sheep!" answered Turkmenbashi-January once more on behalf of everyone. "Bring back our names which are known across the world. I want to be January again, and here is February and not Baidak as he is called now. This one is March, not Novruz, this one is April, not Gurbansoltanedje, this one is May, not Makhtumkuli, he is June, not Oguz, that one is July, not Gorkut, this one is not Alp Arslan but August, this one September, not Rukhnama, he is October, not Garashsyzlyk, this one November, not Sandjar, and last but not least he is December, not Bitaraplyk."

Suddenly, a short man ran into the office and, paying no attention to what was happening there, addressed the President: "Gurbanguly, you are almost great now. As a New Year's present, I prepared a draft order for you to make you really great.

Ondjuk, can`t you see that I am busy!, said the President angrily. I will not disturb, I will be short", said Ondjuk, "look here: the order on renaming the months of the year."

Deadly silence deepened in the room. Sister Gurbansoltanedje April hardly had enough time to think about how quickly their New Year wish can come true.

Ondjuk continued to read the draft order: "To re-name the first month of the year Gurbangulimyalekgulievichberdymukhammedov the Great!"

A body fell down on the floor behind him with a crash. This time it was Turkmenbashi-January who fainted. Ignoring the noise, Ondjuk continued: "To re-name the second month..."

He was interrupted. Brother and sister months picked up Turkmenbashi January and stormed out of the room with shouts of despair.

"See, what you have done, Ondjuk?" said the President angrily. "I was going to make the wish of these wretches in the New Year night true and to make my own wish. And you made a fool of me."

At that moment, the striking of the clock marked the beginning of the New Year. As it is known, everything that one thinks about in the last seconds of the expiring year, comes true in the new one.

Source: TIHR